Issues surrounding limit-setting and addressing behavioral challenges are common struggles for many parents.
As a parent, facing struggles with limit-setting and behavioral challenges is a common occurrence. Setting limits is essential for children and adolescents of all ages, as it helps to ensure safety, reduce chaos, and promote healthy socioemotional and psychological development. Without consistent limits and follow-through, children can feel insecure and experience psychological stress.
Limit-Setting Technique
One effective limit-setting technique promoted by play therapy expert Dr. Garry L. Landreth is a three-step process called A.C.T., which stands for:
- Acknowledge the feeling: “I know you would really like to…” or “I can see you are feeling very…”
- Communicate the limit: “…but you may not _______ because… (reason)” or “but your sister is not for hitting” or “but the answer is no.”
- Target an alternative: “You can _______ if you would like” or “What you can do is _______.”
Examples
Here are some examples of the A.C.T. process put together:
- “I know you would really like to go outside to play, but you may not because it is raining. You can choose to either complete a puzzle or we can play a game together.”
- “I can see you felt very angry/hurt when your sister was making fun of you, but your sister is not for hitting. When you feel angry you can choose to either hit a pillow or bang on your toy drum.”
- “I know you do not like to take your medicine, but whether or not you take medicine is not a choice because it’s something your body needs to get better. However, you can choose to either take it [with juice or with yogurt] or [through a syringe or a cup].”
Dallas Counseling for Parenting Problems