Divorce mediation is a collaborative process in which a trained and impartial mediator helps separating couples negotiate and reach mutually agreeable agreements on all aspects of their divorce, including child custody, child support, alimony, and property division. Mediation is a less adversarial and less expensive alternative to traditional litigation, and it can help couples preserve their relationship and minimize the negative impact of divorce on their children.
Divorce is the second most traumatic loss a person can experience; however, it is sometimes unavoidable. It can set off a grief process of fear, sadness, and anger. Therapists spend time and resources trying to help individuals suffering from the emotional impact of divorce. What we know is that it is not just the loss of relationships that damages people; it is the degree of spousal conflict that happens during the divorce that causes the most damage. Mediation is a process that can minimize the damage and, in fact, set you on the road to having a foundation for success in the future.
Most people who decide to divorce automatically think that the next step is to contact an attorney who will protect you. You need to keep in mind that whatever your attorney tells you they can get for you, your soon-to-be ex’s attorney is probably telling him or her that they can get your soon-to-be ex the opposite. And so, the battles begin. The traditional legal process of divorce is deliberately structured as an adversarial one and very often, not only do you and your spouse take opposite sides, but everyone you know (parents, children, friends) do as well. A Collaborative Divorce is a process designed to minimize the adversarial nature of traditional divorce. However, the process has proven to be costly (paying for two attorneys, a mental health professional, and a financial expert to attend all meetings) and not very effective. Very quickly, both types of divorce (litigated and collaborative) become financially and emotionally costly. Statistics show that the average cost of a divorce in Texas with children is $23,000 and the length of time is 14 months.
Mediation makes it possible for you to stay entirely out of litigation and court except for a short visit when the judge signs your papers. When you leave mediation, you will have a Mediated Agreement which outlines the decisions you have made regarding property, debts, children, etc. At that point, a final divorce decree is written (probably by an attorney) and filed with the court. That means you have control over all the costs and decision-making. Research shows that family mediation can cost a quarter of the price and take a quarter of the time of the traditional divorce process and, more importantly, it can ensure better results for families.
