Dear Roz,
I haven’t been in a steady relationship for a long time, but I have a very close male friend who I occasionally have sex with. We are both very clear about our intentions, which is basically that we have none. Many of my friends tell me I am just looking for trouble. They say it’s impossible for us to have sex without forming a deeper attachment. I think they’re wrong. What do you think?
Dear Friend,
I have known many women who have a loving friendship with a Bed Buddy, with no expectation that they’ll go hand in hand into the sunset. If you are both determined to keep it light and non-attached, that’s cool. On the other hand, if it were to naturally ease into a full-blown love affair, that would be lovely too. My Robert and I began as pals for months, then discovered one wonderful night that it had become deeper, and the rest is history for lo these many years.
Sounds to me like you can’t lose, as long as you and your friend are on the same page. By the way, congratulations on the excellent communication you two seem to have. (Any chance your friends are envious?)